J Street town meeting

The Chair recognizes the gentleman in the rear, waving the American flag.

Mr. Chairman I rise to propose that as there is no J Street in Washington, that we create one.

(The Chair): Why in God’s name would we do that?

So that at the end of the day we can say we’ve accomplished something, useless though it might be.

(General hubbub, hands flying, the sound of harrumphing is heard throughout the hall.)

Order, come to order! The chair recognizes the woman in the babushka.

It is to laugh. We have already accomplished many things. We have identified our enemies. And it is us.

(General hubbub, hands flying, the sound of harrumphing is heard throughout the hall.)

Chair: Us or Arabs?

Lady in the babushka: Us of course. It’s Jews who stand in the way of being pro-Israel and pro-peace. Anyway, that’s what that nice Mr. Ben-Ami seemed to be saying in his opening remarks. Never once did he talk about suicide bombers, or Hamas or Hezbollah. It’s Jews who are the impediment.

(General hubbub, hands flying, the sound of harrumphing is heard throughout the hall.)

Mr. Chairman, Mr. Chairman (this from a man in a keffiyeh). May I speak? Thank you. On behalf of Jstreet’s Islamic Heroes Arab Department I’d like to point out that we have no problem with J Street’s goals of withdrawing Jews from our ancestral lands which stretch westward from the Jordan to the Sea. Is that too much to ask for a people which has shown remarkable patience, relying on rocket fire, airplane hijackings and suicide bombers only on occasion, such as when peace was getting uncomfortably close. The Israelis have deprived us of our nationhood. Thank Allah for J Street! The peace process hasn’t had such good friends since Chamberlain and Deladier were running the show.

The Chair recognizes the historian who is pulling his hair out of his head.
Balding Historian: Mr. Chairman. Israel has not deprived Palestinian Arabs of a state; it’s been other Arabs who’ve done that. I…

(General hubbub, hands flying, the sound of harrumphing is heard throughout the hall.)

Balding Historian continues: I, surely, am not the only person in the room who knows that in 1947 the United Nations created two states, a Jewish one and an Arab one. And what happened? Jordan and Egypt (and Lebanon and Syria and Iraq) invaded the nascent Jewish State; they were repulsed; the Jews expanded the land allotted to them and Egypt satisfied itself with Gaza, Jordan with the West Bank. Did it ever occur to these titans of tolerance that they could have a two state solution by combining the two halves of the remnant of Palestine? No? And why not? Either because they used the suffering of the displaced persons as a propaganda tool or because (this is the more generous explanation) they knew that a bifurcated Arab state, with its parts separated by Israel could never work. And it still can’t.

(General hubbub, hands flying, the sound of harrumphing is heard throughout the hall.)

The Chair recognizes the lady with the tears in her eyes.

Mr. Chairman, I have wonderful news. Moments ago, Middle East Peace Envoy George Mitchell announced new Israeli-Palestinian “proximity talks” - indirect talks between the Israelis and Palestinians with the United States serving as interlocutor. Oh, to have lived so long that I can witness from the safety of America Israel and the Palestinians talking from separate rooms, close by each other. Messiah, he must be on the way.

The Chair (staring, amazed): And that’s the wonderful news? that the two sides will be talking in close proximity to each other?

Lady with tears in her eyes: Well, in proximity. But it’s the long awaited turn of events.

Skeptic: Oy, the gullibility quotient rises exponentially. In 2000, my dear lady, Arafat and Barak met in the same room with President Clinton and what did we get? Intifada II. Surely this is not the coming of the Messianic age when the straws we grab are so flimsy.

(General hubbub, hands flying, the sound of harrumphing is heard throughout the hall.)
The Chair recognizes the Messiah.

Messiah: Nu, am I late? What can I do for you?

Lady with tears in her eyes: Bring peace between Israel and the long-suffering Palestinians.

Messiah: Sure. Easy. Right after Josh Stein wins the Powerball.

Balding Historian: ’Tis a consummation devoutly to be wished.

Danger out of Texas

Have you seen the article in the New York Times Magazine of February 14? It’s about the Texas State Board of Education, members of which try to have text books reflect the notion that America is a Christian nation as promulgated by the Founding Fathers. (You can find the article at http://www.nytimes.com/2010/02/14/magazine/14texbooks-t.html) Should this make us in New England nervous? Yes it should. Texas’s curriculum and text books chosen by the board are used in every public school in that state, and publishers, desirous of capturing that huge market will re-write their textbooks to pacify the Texans and then try to sell their books nationally. One estimate is that Texas’s decisions are reflected in 46 or 47 states.

The idea is to capture the minds of children. As Ralph Reed of the Christian Coalition put it, “I would rather have a thousand school-board members than one president and no school-board members.” And why? As Cynthia Dunbar, a Christian activist on the Texas Board puts it, “The philosophy of the classroom in one generation will be the philosophy of the government in the next.” I thought about where I’d heard that sentiment before, and then it came back to me. “He who controls the present, controls the past. He who controls the past, controls the future.” It’s a coda from George Orwell’s classic novel of totalitarian mind control, 1984 much of which deals with re-writing history so that the current rulers can be proven always to have been right.

The Christian conservatives argue that separation of church and state is a myth perpetrated by the secular liberal establishment (whatever that is). All they are trying to do is uncover the long hidden truth that the founders were Christian men of God who established America as a Christian nation. Therefore there is no legal justification for disallowing crucifixes in government buildings or prayer in public schools. George Washington, the Conservatives say. called for a national day of thanksgiving after the British defeat at Saratoga in 1777. This is proof that the founders wanted religion in public life. But the Constitution (which does not mention God at all and which forbids any religious test for the holding of public office and the first amendment of which bars the establishment of a national religion) had not been written in 1777. Ah, the conservatives counter, but the Declaration of Independence had been and it refers to our creator and to Nature’s God. And by the legal principle of “incorporation by reference” you can connect the two documents, not read them as separate entities. It’s almost Talmudic. What this argument ignores is that Nature’s God is not another way of saying Jesus Christ; it’s a way that the politicians who wrote the Declaration of Independence could put some God into the document without actually referring to any specific deity. What, after all is Nature’s God, anyway?

The founders had an overtly biblical view of the world, the Christian Conservatives say. “In the new guidelines, students…are asked to identify traditions that informed America’s founding, ‘including Judeo-Christian (especially biblical law)’ and to ‘identify the individuals whose principles of law and government…informed the American founding documents,’ among whom they include Moses.” Yeah, we made it! Shabbat on Saturday! I wonder if the Texans know that Mosaic Law forbids pig roasts?

To Christian Conservatives the separation of powers is based on the Founders’ “clear understanding of the sinfulness of man,” not, apparently on Montesquieu’s “Spirit of the Laws” or Cicero’s “On the Republic,” or Locke’s “Treatises on Government” (which specifically condemn the idea of a state religion). When told by a professor of history that “The Supreme Court has forbidden public schools from ‘seeking to impress upon students the importance of particular religious values through the curriculum,’ and in the process said that the founders ‘did not draw on Mosaic law, as is mentioned in the [Texas] standards,’ several of the board members seemed dumbstruck.” But they insisted it was true anyway.

Be very worried, Jews. The Wise Men of Chelm are in charge of what your children and grandchildren may be learning in school. Already, according to the Times’ article, 65% of Americans agree with the statement that “the nation’s founders intended the United States to be a Christian nation,” and 55% said they believed the constitution actually established the country as a Christian nation.” Welcome to second class citizenship if the Texas conservatives get their way.