The Wedding of Jeremy and Amanda

There are those, and sometimes I am one, who think the world is going to hell in a handcart. For evidence, read a newspaper. But there are times, there are times…

Look up the word “kvell” in Leo Rosten’s classic The Joys of Yiddish and you’ll find: “To beam with immense pride and pleasure, most commonly over an achievement of a child or grandchild; to be so proudly happy ‘your buttons can burst.’” Then look up “naches” and you’ll see: “Proud pleasure, special joy—particularly from the achievements of a child.” Put them both together and you get “Only from your children can anyone shep (derive) such naches as makes you kvel.”

On June 13 (read that as 6/13 [613], the number of commandments according to traditional Jewish reckoning) my son Jeremy, the cantor at Congregation Beth Israel in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, married Amanda née Ruppenthal.

I won’t bore you with all the details of the multi-day festivities, but will, if I may indulge myself mention one event that took during the post-ceremony celebration.

Among the guests were several cantorial classmates of Jeremy’s and some local cantors and cantor Brian Mayer of Temple Emanu-El, whose first bar mitzvah student Jeremy had been. As the evening wore down they sat in a circle, and each sang one of the traditional seven blessings over the bride and groom while the others hummed in the background. In between blessings they hummed a gentle niggun (a wordless Chassidic melody). It was an indescribably spiritual moment as the cantors serenaded one of their own.

This was my toast to the young couple:

“When I first heard Amanda’s voice it was on the telephone, the evening that Jeremy called to tell us that he had asked, and she that had said yes. The first thing I remember hearing was her laughter, her infectious giggle. I didn’t yet know what she looked like, but I could hear in her voice sweetness and joy and I knew then that like Jeremy, this was someone who could see the lighter side of things. Jeremy and Amanda, may your home always be filled with the joyous sounds of laughter.

“Amanda, we found out that night that you were a musician, a clarinetist. Jeremy the flautist had found a kindred spirit who could take black notes on lined paper and transform them into glorious sounds, giving pleasure to those who hear. Amanda and Jeremy, may your home always be filled with the sounds of music emanating from your talents.

“Jeremy, you were always the one in the family most connected to our religious traditions and practices, and so took your two loves, of music and Judaism, and combined them to become a cantor. Amanda, you found Judaism in college and now you, too, are a Jewish communal worker. Jeremy and Amanda, may your home always be a meeting place for like-minded people who strive to improve the world by maintaining a strong connection to Judaism’s core values.

“Jeremy, child of the Ocean State, and Amanda, daughter of the Mid-West, you begin your lives together with a trip to Costa Rica, hopefully the first of many sharing the sights and sounds of exotic places. May your home serve as a rendezvous point for people from around the world you have met and befriended.

“Jeremy and Amanda, as you celebrate the coming of the Sabbath bride each Friday evening, think of us, who live so far away, and in your minds, know that whether they are at our table or elsewhere I bless our children each Friday night. And in the fullness of time, when you are lucky enough to have a first child and then children, may you bless them each week, as I’ve blessed my three sons, and then Suzanne [my first daughter-in-law] and now you, Amanda who I welcome with love and joy into our family.

“To Jeremy and Amanda, long may their home be a source of joy for themselves and for those who love them.”

Well, maybe if there is such love in the world as is evident between Jeremy and Amanda the place ain’t going to hell in a handcart in such a great hurry. May you all know the naches we had, and kvell.